2023 Week 1 Rankings

Fuzzy Logic (Slattery) [1-0]

Change From Last Week: +1

Grrouchie's Ranking: 2

"One of only 3 teams to put up over 100 points on the week, the Fuzz-Men put on a clinic and beat down Prestige Worldwide. Even with Gibson and Toney combing for NEGATIVE 0.10 points Mahomes, Hill and Aaron Jones put on a clinic and secured the victory. In fact, those 3 guys were enough to beat their opponent all by themselves and that is DOMINANT."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 1

"The reason for all my rankings: what have you done for me recently? No Kelce and no problem, especially when Hockenson is also on the roster. Tyreek Hill is not fair out there. Mahomes also pulled his own weight without his main weapon. Could you imagine if Tyreek was with Mahomes? I kid. This team is scary with Josh Jacobs, Aaron Jones, DHop and then Tyreek and the Mahomes/Kelce stack provides a ceiling higher than the glass elevator in that one Chocolate Factory. The only issue I have with this team is lack of depth after the big-name starters."

lwinmin's Ranking: 3

"I had the commish way too low in my preseason rankings and he took it out on me personally. Tyreek Hill and Aaron Jones completely crushed my soul. With Travis Kelce coming back this team can beat anyone in the league. "

Get Out (Pads) [1-0]

Change From Last Week: +5

Grrouchie's Ranking: 4

"Get Out! From 12th to 4th? The 12th place ranking was only because I was disapointed and wanted to light a fire under their arses and it worked. After week 1, the team that stayed on or near the top all year long last year is back in the hunt. The highest score to start the season (Pads was heard to say SUCK IT CODYCAST, after the game) this team only needed 1-Putt to put away their opponents. Tua Crushed it. CMC was a beast. ET-Phone-Home, Montgomery and Steveneson played clean up duty and all went over 10 points."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 2

"Oh boy is this a fun team to watch. Tua has two cheat codes running routes for him and fortunately for Pads, Waddle will be in his starting fantasy lineup. CMC got a full offseason to learn the Kyle Shanahan offense and looks to be a force to reckon with. Rhamondre and Etienne should both get a ton of work in the backfield making this a scary squad. Will starting both Gibbs and Montgomery be a viable fantasy option?"

lwinmin's Ranking: 1

"Pads was my preseason top dog and he proved to the league why. He dominated week 1 with the highest score of 120.34. Even with a quiet week from Waddle, Rhamondre, and Gibbs his squad still put up a great score."

NotGreatBob (NotGreatBob) [1-0]

Change From Last Week: =0

Grrouchie's Ranking: 1

"NGB went out and took care of business against the formerly #5 ranked Delta Squad. Racking up wins and showing off their championship trophy (You did ship it out right, Slattery?) NGB didn't have any of the players that blew up week one, but the roster was consistent. Carr, the other BRob, Olave, Allen, Evans all had over 10 points in this hard fought victory."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 3

"It is always nice when you can win a matchup despite Ja’Marr Chase only putting up 6.6 points and Lockett giving you 2. Olave, Allen, and Evans did what they needed to do to help overcome the deficit. Will he stick with the Carr/Olave stack or switch it up to Mac who showed out with a 30 point performance? There weren’t a lot of points on the bench so will depth be an issue for a while or will the rookie RBs help in the long term?"

lwinmin's Ranking: 5

"The defending champ just pulls out victories however he can. Even without Jamarr Chase he still grabbed a W. Olave also easily could have had another 40 yards and a TD if Carr could have hit him on an open bomb. Those 2 may end up carrying him to another ship if we aren't careful."

Michael Scott's Tots (BaileyOwen) [1-0]

Change From Last Week: +2

Grrouchie's Ranking: 5

"The Tater Tots finished 3rd in scoring for the week and have moved up to take over the 5th spot after a week. Josh Allen was not himself but Brandion Aiyuk took the game over and put the team on his back. Aiyuk singlehandedly outscored 5 players (combined) from the Shivablasts."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 4

"Josh Allen put up single digit points and Michael Scott’s Tots walked away comfortably with a win? I barley believe it. This could be another team that is fun to watch with so many WRs looking to break out. DeVonta Smith and Garrett Wilson looked solid but how much production will Wilson lose with MILF hunter Zach Wilson at QB? Is this the breakout year for Brandon Aiyuk? Will he turn into the WR1 in San Francisco? As the manager of this team I would say I sure hope so. Hopefully George Pickens will see an increased load with D. Johnson out. Only 2 more weeks without Kamara as well."

lwinmin's Ranking: 2

"You could make an argument for 3 teams at this spot in my opinion. Even though Scott's Tots didn't have a great week 1 I'm still a believer. Josh Allen will be better. I guarantee it. Javonte Williams is still getting his legs back and Khalil Herbert and George Pickens still haven't hit their ceiling. I could easily see a monster week 2 from Scott's Tots."

Dirty Mike & The Boys (HartyPGA) [1-0]

Change From Last Week: +4

Grrouchie's Ranking: 3

"Out of my Pre-Season rankings, only 3 of the top six teams won. Dirty Mike was ranked 6th and with the help of the boys they not only took down the Scumdogs but they also moved up to #3 in the rankings because of it. ARich and Bijan both had great rookie debuts and helped secure the victory in spite of getting a Goose Egg from Drake London. If Dirty Mike can get some of the other Boys to perform they are going to be a problem all year long."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 5

"Dirty Mike & The Boys escaped the Drake London goose egg, but they cannot escape JK’s Tiny Tim legs. Bijan was as anticipated in his debut and should be able to fill the hole left by Dobbins. Hopefully Darnell Mooney and Nico Collins can contribute to The Boys on a regular basis like they did in week 1. Dirty Mike will look for AntRich to continue the season with double digit rushing attempts, but hopefully he can stay healthy while doing it."

lwinmin's Ranking: 7

"I wanted to put DIrty Mike at number 5, but he fell due to injury. Losing JK Dobbins is going to hurt and he'll need to get creative to replace him. His other running backs are AJ Dillon, Damien Harris, and Tank Bigsby. While I think Bigsby and Dillon are interesting options they are both backups and will likely need an injury to be enough to replace Dobbins. Dirty Mike did grab a victory in week 1 so at least there's that."

ScotchnWhiskers (mark2law) [1-0]

Change From Last Week: +4

Grrouchie's Ranking: 6

"Allgeier said Bijan who? I'm not dead! 3 players from this team were caught on the sideline drinking bad bourbon and collectively scored under 5 points. However, Everyone else scored over 10 and carried this team to victory over formerly dominant CodyCast. This team is young and just getting better, Watch out League!"

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 6

"The big names definitely produced with DK, Henry, and AJ Brown putting up respectable totals. Zay Flowers was a star in his debut and hopefully Mark Andrews won’t take too much from his 10 targets. Tyler Allgeier might be a diamond in the rough with the amount Atlanta is going to run the ball. Throw in Bourne, Kyren Williams, and Justice Hill and this team gets a whole lot deeper. Just a question if these guys will be able to do it on a weekly basis."

lwinmin's Ranking: 8

"Scotch didn't get much from Hurts, but boy did he get a lot from Tyler Allgeier. He is going to need that to continue if Henry isn't going to produce like his usual self. Also Zay Flowers could be an exciting piece after his 9 reception debut for Baltimore."

Delta Squad (OneTyrell) [0-1]

Change From Last Week: -2

Grrouchie's Ranking: 7

"By virtue of scoring the most points out of the teams that lost the Delta Squad is falling into seventh. Lawerence, Sun-God and Pollard are all sparks of hope, but this team was a fart in a candle for every other spot. Barkley was awful, Cooks did not live up to his billing, Pitts is a unicorn only insomuchas people keep believing in him and Thielen is washed."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 9

"The performances from Tony Pollard and Amon Ra couldn’t propel this squad to a victory. I doubt Saquon and Najee put up these low numbers all year and hopefully this was just an anomaly. As someone with multiple shares of Kyle Pitts, I am terrified of the Falcons offense. Will Pitts be a suitable starter when the team throws under 20 times a game? The loss isn’t pretty but at least this was the highest scoring loser, so I believe the Delta Squad will be able to compete throughout the year."

lwinmin's Ranking: 6

"Delta Squad had a disappointing week 1. Najee, Pitts, Saquon, and Cooks all underperformed. 3 of these I could see bouncing back and the other I could see being fine just because of how bad the TE position is this year while Kelce and Andrews are out and while Darren Waller is old. I still believe this is Delta Squad's year and want to see him back in the top 5 next week."

codycast (codycast) [0-1]

Change From Last Week: -7

Grrouchie's Ranking: 12

"This is not 2022 and Team Codycast is playing like they still can't believe they didn't take home the trophy.

Having scored the second least points for week 1 and having superstars throw up duds everywhere, Codycast is getting tossed to the bottom to see if it can motivate them much like the bottom ranking motivated Pads.

Ekeler and Diggs both put up over 20 points only to have some other supposed studs let them down.

Burrow signs the richest contract in the league and stops playing.

Schultz and Higgins combined for 1.4 points. Cooper and Jamaal both barely broke 5 points.

PUKE. You are better than this.

Or, maybe last year was a fluke."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 7

"This might have been the most shocking score of week 1, at least in my opinion. Diggs and Ekeler combined for 45 points and the team still ended with 79 points? This was the 2nd lowest scoring team of the week and I can see why. The Burrow/Higgins stack only got 3.18 points, but Tee did see 8 targets. Will Davante Adams see less production with Jimmy G taken over the reins? Can Amari Cooper produce enough with Voldemort at QB? What would you put the panic meter at?"

lwinmin's Ranking: 4

"Not really sure if I can put Codycast lower than this even after a horrible week 1 performance. His team is still just too good. Burrow and Higgins combined for 3.18 points and I can guarantee that will never happen again in a game they both finish healthy."

Las Vegas Scumdogs (grrouchie) [0-1]

Change From Last Week: -5

Grrouchie's Ranking: 8

"Stank(ing) in the Rank(ing) but their offensive 85 points was second among the losers. Jackson is a trojen horse and is on the block. Someone get this walking disaster off of the team.

Jefferson, Sutton and Pittman were the only players who showed up looking for a game. Dion Jackson was a last minute addition and all he did was subtract from the teams total. Dionte sucked so bad he is faking an injury and probably won't be seen again until mid to late October. Muth only looked passible because he accidentally caught a TD, and Mixon and Connor are showing that maybe you shouldn't rely on older RBs."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 8

"The Las Vegas Scumdogs put up a valiant effort and nearly missed sneaking out a win in week 1. Maybe not having a negative in the flex spot could have changed the outcome. Pitty City is open and count me in as the newest resident. Jefferson did what he usually does but couldn’t help putting the Scumdogs over the top. Lamar was a major disappointment and should be practicing his ball security throughout the week. Will Puka be able to fill a need with Diontae being out? Oh yeah, Breece Hall on the bench doesn’t help either, but at least it was nice to see him looking like his old self."

lwinmin's Ranking: 9

"Lafumble had a bad game despite the victory for Baltimore. Unfortunately for Scumdogs they lost by less than a touchdown. Courtland sutton had the game of his life while Pittman and Justin Jefferson did the bulk of the scoring. Look for Lamar to recover, but if he doesn't Scum may be in trouble."

1-Putt Nine (GhostDad77) [0-1]

Change From Last Week: +2

Grrouchie's Ranking: 9

"1-Putt looks like they put up a complete stinker, but part of that is they went against the most dominate team of week 1. Herbert and Meyers both looked as though they are the real deal but Gabe Davis below 5 points, Go-Eat-Dirt with a goose egg and Hodgins somehow losing points all sabotaged any good that the other two produced. This team has some talent and looks better than week 1, lets see what week 2 looks like."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 11

"Justin Herbert pulled his weight and Jakobi Meyers shined, but hopefully the concussion doesn’t keep him out for long. It looks like Kenneth Gainwell will see an increased workload but is already dealing with injuries. Is this how the whole season is going to go or will GhostDad be able to make the right start/sit decisions in order to compete? Hey, at least he has the man, the myth, the spot start, Zay Jones."

lwinmin's Ranking: 10

"A lot of poopy pants on this team. Dallas Goedert, Pacheco, Pierce, Gabe Davis. All guys who could do it again, but also all guys who will have some serious games. I see Gabe Davis bouncing back in week 2 against Las Vegas. Calling my 2 TD Gabe Davis shot right here right now. You're welcome GhostDad."

PRESTIGE WORLDWIDE (lwinman) [0-1]

Change From Last Week: -3

Grrouchie's Ranking: 10

"We'll give it another couple of weeks but Prestige might be living too far in the past. Dak put up a stinker, DJ Moore only scores when he accidentally houses a screen pass, Gray was not passable as a Kelce Sub, Deebo had one great season and has been living in the past as Aiyuk keeps out performing him, and Mike Williams and Dalvin Cook both were below average.

Lets see if this team an get out of their rocking chairs for week 2."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 10

"Always a tough matchup when you face a receiver that puts up 215 and 2 TDs. Calvin Ridley will be fun to watch all year in that Jacksonville offense. Dak didn’t need to put up big numbers with their defense taking over the game. DJ Moore thought he was back in Carolina only seeing 2 targets on Sunday. Is there any concern with Deebo after week 1? The offense will be fantastic but there are so many mouths to feed, and Brandon Aiyuk saw more targets from Purdy, albeit just 1. CMC will also take away his rushing attempts so is the panic alarm going off?"

lwinmin's Ranking: 12

"This team was complete garbage. Dak needs to get a new defense. Deebo needs a new coach. DJ Moore needs a new QB. Dalvin Cook needs to switch jerseys with Breece Hall. And Calvin Ridley just needs to play in the 2nd half of the game. I'm trying not to lose hope for this pathetic excuse of a team, but it's really hard whenever you've already lost hope for this pathetic excuse of a team."

ShivaBlasts (jwv7244) [0-1]

Change From Last Week: -1

Grrouchie's Ranking: 11

"Shiva was the consensus 11th ranked team for the Pre-Season and I'm going to keep them there in spite of their team putting up the least amount of points week 1. Watson and Addison were both rays of light. Walker and Lamb both tried to hit 10 points but we know they will bounce back. But the rest of the team let them down hard. Let's see if this team can turn it around for week 2 or if they might sniff the bottom of the rankings."

BaileyOwen's Ranking: 12

"Jordan Addison had a lovely rookie debut but there isn’t much else to talk about with the lowest scoring team of the week. CeeDee only saw 4 targets in their blowout win over the Giants and it was hard for Kenneth Walker to get work while trying to catch up all game. Roschon looked solid in his garbage time, so can Johnson and Tutu Atwell help give the ShivaBlasts an extra dose of offense?"

lwinmin's Ranking: 11

"Running 2 TE's in your starting lineup is going to be tough this year. But at least Deshaun Watson looked good. Shiva Blasts will not want to get off to a slow start if he wants to contend this season. Look for him to shake things up in that lineup in week 2."

Editor's note: In the event that rankers' averages are the same between teams, the following tie breakers are used in the following order to determine position in the rankings: Win/Loss ratio, total points scored, total potential points, total points against

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