"I'm not sure what else there is to say about Michael Scott's Tots that you don't already know. This team is GOOD and a threat to put up 150 points every week. Hell, this team's version of a 'down week' ended with 132.52 points and a win."
"Sorry Grrouchie, but I have to drop you down to #2 this week, but not because you did anything wrong. In fact, this team fought hard and won a nailbiter against NotGreatBob (without superstar Lamar Jackson). The Scumdogs are #2 in the power rankings solely because the #1 team, Michael Scott's Tots, is just a hair better."
"Codycast lost this week for three reasons alone: 1) Dak had an unfortunately timed down week. 2) Jonathan Taylor had an unfortunately timed down week. 3) Deebo got hurt. Any of those three outcomes goes a different way, and this blurb would have a very different tone. "
"Oh hey, I see you Dirty Mike. You've got your boys playing hard and have put together 3 really strong weeks in a row. Penix really makes a big difference on the outlook of this team, so let's all hope that Penix stays healthy so the Falcons don't fall off a cliff again."
"It's my honor and pleasure to present the owner of the new #2 spot in the highest weekly scores in league history (at least as long as we've been in sleeper): Fuzzy Logic! I think Grrouchie put it best: 'Fuzzy Logic is like a cockroach this year, it refuses to go away.' Oh, and this team just acquired James Cook to sure up the starting RB spots."
"NotGreatBob would have won if they had just started literally any other WR option over Ladd McConkey. That's all I have to say this week about NGB."
"Hot damn, Drake Maye single handedly gave Get Out the win this week. I really like what this roster is building long term, but the injury bug seems to be starting on this roster considering Concepcion and Sadiq were knocked out of their games this week. It'll be interesting to see how Pads navigates losing two more promising rookies."
"Okay, do you want the good news or the bad news? Let's start with the bad: This was an UGLY loss and it really hurts knowing 81 points is in this team's range of outcomes. Now, for the good: Barring injury, Kenneth Walker will now be in the starting lineup for the rest of the season for Shiva, which is GREAT news. Ollie Gordon looks like a legit flex option for rest of season. Woody Marks might have accidentally become relevant again. And Egbuka showed life and finally scored more than 10 fantasy points! "
"Oops, Prestige Worldwide just accidentally won another game. It's looking like the Golden acquisition is really paying off. One has to wonder if Prestige will start selling off overachievers in order to try to right the tank bowl ship? UPDATE: Yes, pieces have officially been shipped off."
"Another brutal loss for ScotchnWhiskers, and to add insult to injury, Treveyon Henderson is now hurt AND there's whispers that Jeanty might be placed on short term IR. On the plus side, this team should be a lot better in 2027 after *checks notes* getting completely healthy AND selecting two first rounder players in a loaded draft class."
"On one hand, 1-Putt's team finally showed up and scored 120+ points. On the other hand, they were blown out by over 50 points and are now sitting at 0-5. I'm going to continue to bang this drum: this team has way more talented than their record suggests. It's just been hampered by bad situations in the NFL plus some unfortunate luck on the fantasy side of things. I truly believe a top 3 pick in the 2027 draft and an offseason of coaching changes will help this team tremendously. "
"Delta Squad is now on Jeremiah Smith watch AND this team now has 3 first round picks in the '27 draft, 2 first round picks in the '28 draft, and 3 second round picks in the '28 draft. We've officially entered full rebuild mode!"
Editor's note: In the event that rankers' averages are the same between teams, the following tie breakers are used in the following order to determine position in the rankings: Win/Loss ratio, total points scored, total potential points, total points against